Inside we caught them, but without them And, if we guess then, is it bad to follow along? I construct but I push away I return To where it began, for the end of the round, around I'll grab the fortress, burn it down And, if I run then, I'll look back I'll bring the flowers Let it go down If I'm dead then, Oh I tried I construct but I look away I return To where it will end, for the end of the round, the round. |
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One of the most striking and sad things I've been thinking for a while now is the fact that we keep lying to ourselves, in a society in which the most “normal” thing to do is keep on faking a life that seems to be the ideal. And that is also the way we grow. Most of the time, children are taught the ways of society with a mother that respects the laws and never questions them. We, humans, are often attracted to the final product. We don't see the whole process. (And this applies for a lot of things.) Why? Because this implies effort, crisis, conflict. Sometimes people just keep telling me: “but that's the way things work”. Alright, but what if something else is more useful? Why not question the system? Maybe not reject it at all, but getting to understand that the rules of the game might change as society grows. It's not like if we could write how we work. There are somethings that we will never be able to write in words. That keeps the beauty. We just can't base all of our acts in written ideals of how we should behave. There's always a mastermind behind all of these written ideals, and people often react to those masterminds who designed that mindset. Because a mindset implies effort, and the funny thing is, that these so called leaders (either tyrants or “Jesus-es”) built their ideas with some pieces of masterminds of the past. It's probable there's a glimpse of originality, something that was observed that was never seen before. But that was the situation of each of these creators of ideologies. And at the end of the story, we just keep listening to these ideals and try to put them in practice, but we just won't do them the way they wrote it, because we're not them. And we do NOT think like them. There might be patterns, or “isomorphisms” in the behavior, but is that a genuine following of one's own desire to believe and grow the idea, or is it just a matter of survival or avoidance to the tragedy of not understanding the reason of our existence entirely? Should we be comparing ourselves and our beliefs to the others and keep criticizing others just because they don't believe the same things we do? Relativism. Communism. Objectivism. Capitalism. Christianity. Buddhism. Fuck-it-all-ism. It's just a brand, just a name for a set of characteristics. But that name shouldn't guide the fate of our individual lives. Make a decision in what to believe in, and it's alright if you don't follow everything as it-was-written. At least for me, I just can't bear one color on my painting. And maybe here I sound like a confused motherfucker, but that's what I'm trying to get at: it's not that confusion is the best state of mind, but I prefer that than agreeing with something that I believe is wrong in perhaps the most “ideal” and “perfect” system I've read about. It's not about just reading and repeating. It is actually, practically, living the theory that will most certainly be a practice under one's own understanding of what the ideal is. And that's how our OWN HISTORY is written (even tacitly). And we're all different in a sense, that we will practically live with different ideals. We shouldn't lie to ourselves. Others will take the advantage of that vulnerability, will lie to us, and make us do what they want us to do. Fuck. Them. I don't want to be a soldier in someone else's fight. I don't want anyone else fighting my fight. Humans, mothers, fathers, brothers, friends and lovers, for the sake of our humanity, where's love in all of this? Love is in understanding the individuality of the fights of others. And this implies tolerance. Eventually, the true self will show up, and it will either frustrate you or welcome you. It will be easier to keep the lie going, but it will just destroy you. What did they make of it, the mourners, the dignitaries, and the |